Once Upon a Time in My Oceania

In the years following my exit out of Christian Fundamentalism many conversations have accompanied my time trying to come to terms with the years spent in it. Numerous things I struggled to understand, and making my best effort at putting into words the complexities of that period and how it had changed me forever was not easy. Some, like those who also experienced the group I came out of or others similar, most likely understand the confusion and frustrations us formers encounter. More often than not, it is simpler to just cut it up to "crazy" and try to let bygones be bygones, move on and leave the past in the past. But sometimes, that's not always possible and hashing it out is your best bet at finding closure. I call it "feeling your feels" and it's something that I do allow myself to do when it's warranted. I guess you could say at times that is why this very blog partly exists—to find a way to talk about all those many different things fundament

No one ever warned me about this part of my life. With everything I read on the subject, very rarely did the conversation come with a "heads up" on what to expect when you begin to wade through the waters of deconstructing from your past faith. As a former fundamentalist, I was not prepared for the sheer ability to ask questions. My existence in my community, especially as a female, meant I was silent and constantly fell into line when told to. As a follower my leader dictated the emotions I was to feel and thinking outside of the box was foreign to me. Leaving meant searching for a new identity entirely. I had no clue who I was to be without my fundamentalist past self or without the pastor leading me each week on what I was to believe spiritually. I wasn't ready to watch friends turn into enemies or hearing past members refer to me as a stranger, instead of the little girl who grew up in their midst for the past fifteen years. I wasn't expecting that some w

Little girl, living in a box of a world,  Question everything. Scream when they say to sing. You deserve so much more than what they say;  Your existence allows you the option to walk away. Break the mold; find your way. Don't blend in, you stand out with the words you say. Be the night when they're the day. Be the red when they're nothing but the pale. Pick up that book, the one with the forbidden pages.  Read it, breathe it, take it in and wage it. It may be the answer to that burning question and if not, still search on.  Don't give in, don't give up.  These days can be put behind you, they can be gone. ☆ They cut you when it was you they said they loved.  But, little girl, love don't draw blood. Words and rules shouldn't hurt; make you doubt who you are or your self worth.  Leave it alone, let it go. Turn your back on them; put the past down. Sacred Book it may be, but that speaker never cared