Breaking Free: A Survivor's Anthem
Lydia Joy

They say just to forget,
Pretend, get over it.
Move on, start over again.

But the memory, the pain,
Made to feel ashamed,
Still linger, still fight, a battle in my brain.

I’m not gonna cover up these scars.
I’m breaking away from these prison bars.
I’m stronger than I’ve ever been.
Won’t lock myself in that prison again.

I’m breaking free. I can finally breathe.
I’m trying to forgive, to finally live.
I’ve still got this memory that never will fade.
I’m letting go. I’m walking away.
I’m breaking free.

Sometimes they are scars.
Other times open wounds.
At moments, I question how I made it through.

And when it all comes back and I have to relive,
Somewhere deep in my soul, I beg God to help me forget.
All the scary nights. All the tears I cried.
All those people who said I lied…
I’m letting go.

I’m breaking free. I can finally breathe.
I’m trying to forgive, to finally live.
I’ve still got this memory that never will fade.
I’m letting go. I’m walking away.
I’m breaking free.

Don’t cover up your scars.
Go ahead, break away from those prison bars.
You’re stronger than you’ve ever been.
You’ll never need to lock yourself in that prison again.
You’re breaking free.

This poem was previously shared on the blog, Unfundamentalist, 
December 6, 2017.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Does Shunning Exist in The Independent Fundamental Baptist Church?

Image
When we hear the word shunning , I'll bet most of us suddenly picture the plain life of the Amish or even the strange, secretive world of Scientology. These two groups certainly have given the practice of shunning a definition that many folks can look to for a definitive meaning, but the greater question is whether or not this practice is reserved solely to them? This leads to another question and that is, is shunning synonymous with the word cult ? I think that both questions are not always just based on curiousty, but in some cases, because of a need to truly understand other isolated worlds. I know that I have asked these myself in the past on my own journey of separating fact from fiction, striving to make sense of very surreal situations in my own memory. Before I dive into this though, I think it's important that for the sake of avoiding miscommunication that I reiterate that not all religious groups are cults and not all cults are destructive (basing this detail
Read more

Learning to Trust After Surviving a Cult

Image
  Learning to be vulnerable after growing up isolated from the real world and being unable to trust the people you were taught were supposed to be trustworthy can leave a survivor struggling to connect post cult. Finding those who won’t judge you or exploit your cult experience can be difficult, adding to that struggle. Because surviving a cultic environment is often a traumatic experience, walking away may also mean walking away with chronic mental health issues such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and anxiety and depression, not to mention other types of illnesses that were left untreated for a member’s time inside of their cult. The point is that learning to trust others on the outside enough to be vulnerable can be extremely, extremely difficult for survivors. And yet, doing both those things (being vulnerable and trusting) are necessary in making meaningful connections. Building a new safe circle is important. Many of those that leave religiously abusive environments lose the
Read more

Here Comes The Bride

Image
  Last month, I celebrated one of the happiest days of my very life. I got to marry a wonderful, safe, and fantastic man. I got to do the things I had always wanted to when I envisioned my wedding day . I was the first of my family to have a secular wedding, something I’m not only honored by but treasured deeply. Through hard work and tears, I am making a life that I want. It’s so far from my upbringing but it’s the truest and most authentic of lives I’ll ever have, and it’s brought immense peace to me. My wedding day was not held in a church. While I have felt the uncharacteristically comfort within a house of worship before, I would not say sacred vows to my partner in a system of abuse. I also had to look after myself and practice self-care—I have chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from what the Church has done to my body, brain, and soul. My C-PTSD has been managed really well for over a year and I need to keep that going. And of course, my fiancé and I did not want to have any
Read more