Does Shunning Exist in The Independent Fundamental Baptist Church?

When we hear the word shunning, I'll bet most of us suddenly picture the plain life of the Amish or even the strange, secretive world of Scientology. These two groups certainly have given the practice of shunning a definition that many folks can look to for a definitive meaning, but the greater question is whether or not this practice is reserved solely to them? This leads to another question and that is, is shunning synonymous with the word cult? I think that both questions are not always just based on curiousty, but in some cases, because of a need to truly understand other isolated worlds. I know that I have asked these myself in the past on my own journey of separating fact from fiction, striving to make sense of very surreal situations in my own memory.

Before I dive into this though, I think it's important that for the sake of avoiding miscommunication that I reiterate that not all religious groups are cults and not all cults are destructive (basing this detail on cult researchers' findings). Moreover, there are many groups that qualify for cult status but are not labeled as such. I base my definition from cult experts like Steven Hassan and the late Margaret Thaler Singer. Hassan's BITE model on identifying destructive cults and relationships is a super important tool and one I had in mind when deciding to tackle the subject of cults and shunning. When reading this post, it's important to keep all of that in mind yourself and to remember I speak solely from my own personal experiences or that of other survivors' stories. That done, let's continue. 

Shunning, in many ways, is part of the human experience. We have all either participated in it or were on the receiving end of the practice. Generally speaking, a lot of us have our little groups, made of like-minded people and those we surround our lives with. Because of that, sometimes we are protective of "just anyone" trying to penetrate our safe circle and we retaliate with making it clear why they don't belong. Maybe we just haven't known them long enough. Maybe they're not family. Or maybe they don't share our own political beliefs. For one reason or another, we don't feel they meet a set mark and they're not part of our clique. Whether it's from childhood,  having a playground scuffle or as an adult, being that coworker that can't "fit in," shunning is all around us. But what happens when shunning takes on more serious things like racial discrimination, spiritual superiority or eternal damnation? What can occur at its worst and how can its impact change a person's entire life outlook? And what does that outlook look like?

Living in the world of fundamentalism, particularly the Independent Fundamental Baptist movement, I struggled to put words to some of the practices I witnessed. Being isolated and unfamiliar of other acceptable religious practices, I had no ruler to measure aspects of our version of Christianity. I had no clue that Christian Love, for example, shouldn't be used in a passive aggressive manner. I didn't know that to "love the sinner, hate the sin" was impossible when sinners in many ways were the enemy. Loving your enemies may have been preached, but pointing out the "righteous" and how they were in the right and all others were in the wrong was just more proof of the obsolete tribalism within the group. I always speak to the black-and-white mentality, the utter literalism, and the Us vs. Them mindest because they were hallmarks of that environment. 

They were also problematic. 

Because what happens when you have an environment that is taught to see Right vs. Wrong and that through a man, anointed by God, what's said to be"right" is made known? It's a breeding ground for shunning and it happens all around you. If you're one of the unfortunate ones, it happens to you. 

The leader of our circle was the absolute glue to keeping it "safe." Through the pastor's leadership, a good Independent Baptist can remain just that, without any outside influences tempting followers to change things up. I have often wonder if part of the resistance to modernity is due to the fact that if they prevent change, they can maintain control. Most often people feel threatened by change and find themselves as a young child needing a sense of stability, of consistency in order to manufacture a sense of security. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon that it can be a false sense of security. I always like the idea that some things need to change, because how often is that true? Some negative things, especially things that oppress another, need to be turned around and done away with forever. Making a negative into a healthy positive can be uncomfortable, but imperative. 

The need to prevent change, to hold tightly to the "old ways," means differences are not welcomed. The Different, the Questioners, the Outspoken, the Black Sheep in the White Only flock are often made to feel that they don't belong. And, many times, these "differences" were concluded not necessarily because they exsisted, but because someone who holds weight in the circle deems another as such-n-such. You can be an Independent Fundamental Baptist and find yourself being shunned solely based on a leader's whim, by the inability to "fit in" or because you find yourself with questions and decide to voice them even quietly. 

I knew of those who chose to sing a song by one IFB college lose ability to participate freely in singing specials because our crowd had an ongoing, passed-through-the-years-feud with a college that our pastor's alma mater disagreed with, regardless that both were strictly IFB institutions. Or a young man  working his nine to five shift having to put in unexpected overtime run late, but by obeying the rules of not forsaking the gathering of believers, showed up in jeans in midweek services only to then be refused privileges of participating in honored roles like taking up the offering. There were young ladies dubbed harlots for wearing a modern clothing label or donning a dress that bared her knees when she sat. There were young mothers with screaming infants called bad moms for not whipping the protests out of their children. Or the young father who was criticized for focusing on the needs of his new family, instead of the needs of the church. There were families said to be "straying" for traveling to family reunions in a revival week or members who were refused the ability to attend a non-IFB family member's funeral. 

There were those who said women were too loud, young ladies didn't smile enough, men were shouting too quietly and young boys weren't really manly. There were church family feuds, the Hatfields vs. McCoys. There were the good Christians and the bad. The true IFB and the counterfeit, fakes. We may have all been IFB, but we each had our assigned corners that we'd retreat to after a knockdown of our opponent.

On the more heartbreaking end of the spectrum, you'll see members publicly shunned within the church, called in front of the entire congregation to confess their sins. I think now of witnessing a teenager who's only "sin" was that of becoming pregnant outside of marriage. Although this young girl, who had stood in front of the entire church, confessing and crying had done what was demanded of her by seeking forgiveness, she was still ostracized for one choice. Forgiving and forgetting, I suppose, was a doctrine of convenience in some situations. 

There were also, sadly, common experiences of victim shaming that concluded with women and children who had been sexually abused shunned by their congregations for speaking up, for going to authorities, or for seeking justice and a way out of the ongoing abuse. In times where a victim needs support and validation, victims were often met with doubts and skepticism, even judgment. Being a survivor of abuse where others knew could result in being looked upon as lesser than, damaged and deserving less in life. That shunning could end in bad marriages, abusive partners or the inability to find a pastor-approved future spouse. 

Shunning could happen to members and certainly with those that decide to leave the Church. 

There was the "shaking the dust off your feet" when you doctrinally opposed another, but there could also be the excommunication of past members. One of the most surreal experiences is when you have transitioned from the believer to the lost. When you are told the Devil is using you to sow discord among current believers or to deceive the Church. There is even cases where family denounces you and all of your in-group friends disappear. In others' experiences, they didn't leave the Independent Fundamental Baptists, just their church, but because their pastor wouldn't give them a letter of recommendation, verbal or written, to the next pastor, a family would find themselves Independent Baptist but unable to join an IFB church. 

Because in most former members' experiences it was all IFB or nothing, completely dedicated to their pastor, their church and its cause, finding yourself suddenly shunned can leave you adrift on the outside. Support for survivors is vital. The need to find those that can help them healthily navigate the outside world so, so important. It can be a lonely existence there for a little while. 

So, does a group that shuns constitute a cult? Well, I would say this...it's certainly a cultish aspect to spiritually abuse a person and "spiritually shun" another. It's harmful. And finally, if the IFB church shuns, which I think with this post it suggests it does in fact shun, does that mean it is a cult? To that, I will answer it can definitely be harmful. A harmful cult? I'll leave that up to the many survivors' experiences to determine.

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