The Boy With The Vacant Stare
Lydia Joy



I watched him everyday. Stride slow, determined, avoidant down the hall.

Face so pale, smile abased, hair so dull.

Echoes of muffled laughter, conversations with topics unknown filled with speculations.

Eyes cast downward with only brief lifted motion.

Words spoken without being spoken saying: empty, desperate and alone.

I watched from afar, unaware of what to do. I was oblivious to this world.

Walking, stepping, occasionally leaping from one uneasiness to another. 

My own universe crumbling with its foundation apart.

Still the boy lingered. 



(Photo courtesy:iStock)

Day after day, month after month our gazes catch.

But still no words.

Silent…not a single phrase spoken. 

Over time, I notice. Pay attention. Observe.

Wrists always hidden. Shirts high, obscuring neck and clothes so baggy allowing no questions.

People talk. They always do. Murmurings of unkindness, intolerance and oddity. 

“Why not talk?” one will say. 

“Something to hide?” another speculates.

But maybe he can’t talk. Maybe he doesn’t know how? I offer.

I feel torn. 

Oddity is obvious, but so is avoidance. 

It’s protective in nature. Protection for one’s self. 

A habit I always practice…how can I fault a person for that?

I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. 

So I stay quiet, unaware my own bruises are showing. 

That my own innocence has been stolen…that I’m about to be labeled "damaged goods."

In the meantime, I catch the boy with the vacant stare. Strongly, briefly and burning. 

All those observations stay with me for years. 

Simply time gone by when I finally take a moment to remember those eyes that once searched my own. 

A grown up child, that's what I am. 

Still wandering the playground of immaturity. 

They say trauma does this...that my inner child is calling out to be hugged, finally protected. 

And I agree.

I suppose I have to embrace the both of us now. 

Each somehow colliding against the hands of time that separate us, meeting only briefly like our glances once met from afar. 

For *Quinton ♥

Spot the signs of abuse and bullying. Stand up and speak out. #BeKind #StopBullying #ProtectKids

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