My Final Blog Post

 

Hi there,

If you’re just now finding me, it’s important to know I no longer utilize this blog for my writing. If you want to get updates, follow me on my Facebook page.

It’s May of 2026 at the time of writing this, more than 7 years since starting this blog. I haven’t had the heart to delete it because the words on each post document so much of my life during the early stages of leaving the cult I grew up in. There are so many different versions of myself within those words and chapters in my life story that were being written. Some days, I read my words and can’t believe that I have come so far.

And I have absolutely changed my life from that girl who used her words and sent them into the great void of the internet. I’m proud of her, so very proud! In the beginning, she had a few threats from past people in her life, some shunning, some difficult experiences. She had terrible PTSD symptoms but found such healing in years of therapy. Writing was a therapeutic outlet and a recommendation to continue from her then therapist. She did so much hard work on herself and broke so many cycles.

I’m so grateful to my past self. My past self had immense resilience that was made through surviving shitty things. And I noticed that with more healing and time away from the cult and the people connected to it, I absolutely stepped foot into thriving country, and it has been breathtakingly beautiful.

My life is so much different. I could never imagine it! What I have now is so worth protecting that I rarely share it or may never will. But what I will share is that what I’ve worked for and continue to work for has been so worth it! I never thought I’d be in a place where I have minimal and rare flashbacks from PTSD, have better health than I could imagine (even with conditions that will never go away), am married to a man whose presence has healed so much of my heart, have two wonderful kitties that bring so much comfort, a career that I continue to build, and a degree that I’m working towards. It’s been beautiful and I have no doubt my life will continue to be.

While I do not hide my past, my past is not what defines me. When being introduced to new people, the cult is not the first thing I think of. I have lived so much since then that I have things that bring great joy. It’s not only sadness that lingers in my soul. The hope that was planted there by me as a young child, teen and young adult who was stuck in a cult and stuck after leaving it, bloomed. It bloomed because I did the hard work it takes to heal, to no longer give them bastards anymore power.

Taking back my power looked like so many different things. It looked like writing, speaking up, advocacy, taking responsibility for my mental health and trauma, cutting contact with most of my family of origin, of claiming my autonomy and the right to question and think and learn and be a human. Taking back my power took time and trials and pain and sorrow but it also included peace and joy and love and hope. I’ll never regret the decisions that got me out or the ones that kept me from going back.

Fuck cults but also heal so you can live after them. Make the hard decisions and choices that will inevitably give you a life you deserve free from control. I am proof that you can. Some of us get out. Some of us heal. And some of us make it not only to the other side but thrive when we get there.

I’ve always said that for a girl born to be silent, speaking up is the most daring thing I’ve ever done. And while that is completely true, choosing to be happy was by far the second.

Love and light, fuck cults, and live the life that you want.

Peace,

Lydia Joy

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