Once Upon a Time in My Oceania

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Silence and secrecy are often, in my opinion, the key ingredients in keeping any abusive system alive and operating. This also is part of the reason that when truths that shine a negative light do appear, people are not readily in a place to accept them as truth and real concerns are dismissed. Part of maintaining silence and secrecy may look different depending on the organization/group, but in general there are a few common ways of achieving the goal of abuses and wrongdoings remaining unknown, unchecked and hidden firmly beneath the rug they've been swept under and sometimes, expertly so.  In order to insure wrongdoings are kept silent is to start with an environment that doesn't look too keenly on "unnecessary" and unwanted accusations being prompted in the first place. Within this environment, and in my experience, the Independent Fundamental Baptists, leaders constantly preach how sinful it is to sow discord among fellow believers. With this in mind, vi...

Just recently, I was a part of a lengthy discussion with someone who was of the opinion that to call out abuse in the Independent Fundamental Baptist world is to "finger point" if the number of cases of sexual abuse does not reach a shocking number more than that of other denomination, such as the Catholic Church or even the Jehovah's Witnesses. Their point of view was how can we demand accountability of churches independent of each other, who are without a head organization and sans a numbers count of total members? Unlike mainstream religions, Independent Fundamental Baptist churches do not, and if they do, rarely, have checks and balances on the system and yet, in spite of this, patterns point to systematic abuse.  If we were to obtain an accurate number, we would have to first create a database of all churches identifying as IFB. I would argue that, wait, we do, in many ways, have just that in numerous forms. There are IFB church directories that do just that...

When we hear the word shunning , I'll bet most of us suddenly picture the plain life of the Amish or even the strange, secretive world of Scientology. These two groups certainly have given the practice of shunning a definition that many folks can look to for a definitive meaning, but the greater question is whether or not this practice is reserved solely to them? This leads to another question and that is, is shunning synonymous with the word cult ? I think that both questions are not always just based on curiousty, but in some cases, because of a need to truly understand other isolated worlds. I know that I have asked these myself in the past on my own journey of separating fact from fiction, striving to make sense of very surreal situations in my own memory. Before I dive into this though, I think it's important that for the sake of avoiding miscommunication that I reiterate that not all religious groups are cults and not all cults are destructive (basing this detail ...

I've been in limbo for so long, this place of healing, hurt and moving on. I've felt darkness ebb and the light flow,  watched my perception turn from viewing things as worthless weeds turn into wild flowers that grow. I find myself cynical, skeptical, and cautious. I find myself excited, imaginative, and hopeful.  I see the me I was ten thousand yesterdays ago compare itself to me of the past twenty four hours, wondering why time is like this, aware of how fastly it goes.  I still have questions; I continue to want answers. I still wonder sometimes naively and bounce back from taking chances.  I'm rearranging,  as a human being I'm changing,  looking for my place in this big, crazy world,  taking meager footsteps like my inner little girl.  That's it, good job, keep believing.  Have faith, make jumps, keep dreaming. Your day is nearly here, be patient, stand tall. These are the momen...