The Harmful Teachings of Separation in Fundamentalism

 

There are many things wrong with fundamentalism, in my opinion. I couldn’t get into all of them in a single post without exhausting myself in the process. But I think the teaching of separation, this command in many ways, is definitely one of the most problematic ones. I could point to the way fundamentalism uses this teaching to separate its members from outside resources in cases of abuse, the different ways separation can impact the next generation mentally, physically, and educationally, or even the fact that fundamentalism instills in its followers not to rely on others to a point that is unrealistic and entire families suffer because of it. There really are many aspects that I could share about where this teaching causes future damage to fundamentalists.

I never needed to be separate. I didn’t need to remove myself from a world that could harm me. I did not need to pull myself away from the joy that human connection offers. I didn’t need to be saved, sanctified, and separated to honor a god. I can’t believe that now I can see how separation is more like a fundamentalist opinion than anything Jesus would have talked about. Jesus literally never separated anyone in his life. He went to the people, and they would come to him. Never, not once, did he say we had to remove ourselves from others. Even his disciples were able to keep their earthily ties to their families and visit them while they followed him. In fact, Jesus would also visit.

So why did so many of us as fundamentalists fall for such a false teaching? Well, one reason was we were told to guard our testimony because people were watching us, and we needed to point them to Jesus. We never actually did that. We came off arrogant, foolish, and unkind. I’m not a believer today, but I’m sure that us not being like Jesus actually didn’t help our cause any.

When I really get down to it and step back to see the forest for the trees as the saying goes on this teaching, I feel it’s actually very common for controlling environments to make their victims separate themselves from others. In fact, like as is common with domestic violence, abusers rely on this method to control their victims. What ends up occurring is that the controller/abuser has their victim rely on them for everything. In the case of a controlling church, this can look like members having to rely on the church for socialization, spirituality, family, community, entertainment, and for their identity.

Healthy relationships have boundaries, but in these kinds of environments there is no such thing. Boundaries do not exist because unhealthy control always, always has the last say. An example of this can look like a controlling pastor where members must go and seek his counsel before making any decision. Now, members most likely won’t even know this is occurring. “Counsel” may in actuality be gaining permission by getting the pastor’s “blessing” on a new move in their life.

In fundamentalism, pastors are depicted as the gatekeepers of supposed rebellious teens. How often did I hear my own pastor tell us from behind the pulpit that it was his responsibility to look out for my soul as a member of his church? He said he took this seriously and I had no reason to doubt him them…. Well, I did, but I was unable to see that then.

When I erred even slightly off the path (of course, it wasn’t actually something “bad”), I was treated like a child who had rebelled against its parents. The guilt implanted in me to never do such a thing was very strong. I had to remain separate from the world for my testimony, for my family and for my pastor. I took that seriously myself. Whatever the reasons behind separation, power and control tend to always be key components behind anyone making this command.

Having entered the world now as a former fundamentalist, I truly have no clue why we had to remain separate from others. Except that to do so would mean I would have likely left sooner if given the choice. Freedom is a seductive thing when you’re imprisoned and don’t even know it. For the ones in power, it is threatening to their role. They’ll no longer be needed. Or worshiped, frankly.

Separation in fundamentalism is its own form of segregation. It’s a way to divide those who belong and those who don’t. It’s used to make the fundamentalist group look special, like they have some secret key to the truth. In reality, that separation is only felt more deeply by those within these groups. Often, they separate themselves from their very own families who do not believe like they do or fall out of good graces with leadership in their communities. Separation may take on the means of shunning to accomplish it and both things remain painfully alive and well in fundamentalist circles today.

Personally, as a cult survivor, I’m wary of any group, religious or not, that encourages the separation of themselves from others who are nonmembers. In my experience, this is a huge red flag that unhealthy control is at play. The big question to ask yourself when trying to determine if something is potentially harmful is to simply ask, why can’t you live out your beliefs in a way that even those you love can’t be included as equals even if they don’t believe exactly like you do? I would then follow up with another question and that’s, why is tribalism being promoted in any particular group? There should be room for people to have individuality inside and outside of any group.

Today, I cringe anytime someone says, “Be ye separate, thus saith the Lord.” Now, I reply with what “lord” and why? I’m finding that healthy environments never have this component within them. In fact, inclusion, not separation, is encouraged.

To all my current IFB family friends: It’s beautiful out here. I hope you join me. The world is beautiful. It really is.

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