Once Upon a Time in My Oceania

  This time of year is always bittersweet for me and a lot of other survivors out there. I remember a lot of traumas around Christmastime and New Years, also a lot of sickness. There was a lot of pressure to do a lot of things and be a certain way. There was caroling, a Christmas play where you’d have to perform and sing, often very ill, and a ton of get togethers to attend. And then, there were a lot of tough feelings and emotions as you either gathered or didn’t with people who were, well, super hurtful. It can be a triggering time of year. There can be a lot of loss and grief. But there is also joy for me. Well, now there is…. For the past few years, I’ve decided with a heart full of purpose to enjoy my time here on earth and make every Christmas one that I remember. Most often that looks like living in the moment. I have a tree, a Christmas village that lights up, and I put Christmas lights on the balcony. There are stockings hung. I have cards from friends and even strange...

Next month marks two years since I started sharing both the past and present in what fundamentalism can look like. I've written through numerous stages in my life and am left in awe on how much its changed in just a short time. I started much from the beginning, trying to depict my earliest of days in the cult and what that personally looked like. I shared unique stories from my upbringing in that isolated world. I wrote posts, deeply painful ones, while taking on my past church that continues to fail victims still to this day and who allow wolves in their midst. I never dove into that tough time and don't plan to today, but you never know...give me a few tomorrows and I may just do that. I had to relive a lot of painful memories two years ago and while doing so, this blog became a wonderful outlet to put emotions to paper. 2019 was the year that kicked my butt into gear and truly jump started tackling the great obstacle of choosing me for once. 2020, I feel was a year of perso...

Spring is starting to show up all around me it seems. Every time I turn around, I'm finding myself outside, soaking up the much warmer sunshine, spying flowers of blue, purple, and yellow dotting the lush green grass. The birds are merrily chirping before the sun rises, greeting a brand new day. And, with springtime comes a special time for this blog... ONE WHOLE YEAR   of posts, poems, and stories! I have to confess, I originally decided upon starting this endeavor, to only commit to three months. Then, three turned into six, and six into an entire year. Although I would have loved to have shared even more posts, I'm incredibly proud of how many I did write, edit and post for all of you, my readers, to read. Your feedback has been incredible! It has moved me, it has encouraged me and your words have inspired me.  I don't know how far I will continue to take this blog. I admit, I have thought much about that question and still don't have a solid answer. I gu...