Rainbows, Bibles, and Mayor Pete

Trigger Warning: for the sake of authenticity certain insensitive words towards the LGBTQ Community, including the possibility of referencing particular homophobic slurs are to follow. The author in no way supports the terminology used, but chooses to do so in order to, as accurately and closely as possible, depict the following piece true to memory's sake.

Many areas of my life were shaped by fundamentalism. Being born and raised, a cradle to a pew, Independent Fundamental Baptist translated into controversial beliefs and opinions that not only were sometimes unhealthy, but also hurtful to others. I've talked a bit already about some of those things, particularly different forms of hate within Christian Fundamentalism. It's not uncommon that something or someone catches my attention, reminding me of those former beliefs I shamefully embraced for a time in my life. I can recall the uncomfortable cognitive dissonance that occurred when those teachings were challenged with everyday interactions with those I was taught were damned or reprobate. It's a process I'm sure most other formers out there also understand—these feelings of being faced with new information and coming to terms with the path of walking away from your fundamentalist self and towards being accepting as a human being. 

The old argument against that process usually went something like this: that's the ploy of the wicked world; it's humanistic to be accepting; wrong is wrong and right hasn't changed; if the Bible is against it, then so am I—just to mention a few. For a season, I allowed those arguments to win, tuned out the clutter, and silenced the questions in the back of my head. But overtime, that became more and more impossible, till eventually I had no choice but to evaluate where I stood on certain things. 


"Speaking only for myself, I can tell you that if me being gay was a choice, it was a choice that was made far, far above my pay grade. That’s the thing I wish the Mike Pences of the world would understand. If you got a problem with who I am, your problem is not with me. Your quarrel, sir, is with my creator.” -2020 Presidential Candidate, Mayor Pete Buttigieg.

"Both Christian and gay," seems to be the headline here. One, that predictably brought to light some tough issues that need to be addressed. Now, I'm not going to make a doctrinal argument in favor for being LGBT. That would be premature of me, seeing how I don't, at this time in my life, identify one way or the other religious wise. However, I'm more than aware of how headlines, along with the statements like this, can ruffle the most fundamentalist of Christians' feathers out there. So, I can easily believe that it made many angry, uncomfortable, and unable to take in the facts that were going against the various bigoted, misinformed, and fear-based ideas that are considered doctrine. I'm assuming these are some of the "Mike Pences of the world" that were referenced: those that sometimes don't always loudly proclaim they are against the LGBTQ community, but either their personal stances or support for potentially hurtful legislation by anti-LGBTQ groups say otherwise. Maybe it's even those that don't choose silence, utilizing words and even Scripture as their choice of weapon. 

The latter would have been my group's choice most often. I recall stories of members who proudly shared tales of how they harassed other non-believing members of the public who appeared "effeminate," ostracizing and bullying them. Hearing threats of what a member would do if ever confronted by a gay person was common place. I even grew up knowing of a "game" of "let's find a queer and beat him up." The point is in Oceania being what's considered different is one of the worst offences a person can commit. The punishment for being lesbian, gay, and bisexual was death and an eternity spent in a burning lake of fire. 

In some IFB camps, some take slightly contradicting views on the subject. While some see LGBTQ as instant eternal damnation, others believe salvation is an all-cure. In recent years, there has even been a particular percentage of those that embrace a "Born That Way" stance, believing that there's a problem in a gay person from birth and they have the chance at Heaven if they never act on their "unnatural urges" and must live the life of a eunuch. I'm assuming here that one slip up of weakness guarantees a soul being turned over to a reprobate mind. 

As a child, a person becoming a reprobate was by far in my list of top fears, right along with rapture anxiety. Fueling this fear was a visiting evangelist's sermon where he explained, in detail, the moment a young gay man he was trying to witness to turned over to a reprobate mind. It was after a failed attempt to call the demons out of him and as this preacher told it, the young man fell backwards in the living room of his parents' home, screaming at the top of his lungs and that was when it was said the conviction period ended and he became one of the damned, forever lost. All those years ago, I was utterly terrified by this story. Now? Well, now I understand that this was actually part of a practice some refer to and Independent Fundamental Baptists have been guilty of called Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA), which is in essence an exorcism and is sometimes utilized in religious gay conversion therapy sessions. The fact that still many states in the U.S. allow these abusive practices as a form of "therapy" is horrendous. Physically, emotionally, verbally, spiritually, and yes, sometimes even sexually abusing a person—and in many cases, minors—is an atrocity and should anger everyone of us, Christian or otherwise. So, yes, in some ways I still am that terrified child, hearing a traumatic story of an innocent young man who experienced something horrific, all in the name of a bigoted god. Because discrimination that literally hurts people is legal and protected under religious freedom. Being gay, lesbian, bisexual or identifying differently than your birth gender isn't no more a sin than me being born with the freckles along the bridge of my nose. For a human being to be seen as a threat for something like that is terrifying. 

"You have an adorable daughter and a precious son. What would happen, if a few years from now when they're teens, young adults they came to you and said they think that may be gay or lesbian?"

"Well, I would address my daughter first as I would take her for a pedicure. I would take her to get her nails done and see if she could swim. If it was my son, I would probably take him hunting, I would take him fishing, and I would see if he could swim..." 

Delegate Eric Porterfield for West Virginia was quoted saying earlier this year, implying that if his own children confided in him that they were gay he would maybe even allow them to drown, before going on to suggest that there are similarities between the LGBTQ community and the KKK (the irony at that last statement is not lost on this ex IFB, but maybe more on that some other time). 

Nearly fifteen years ago, a then IFB missionary, Porterfield visited my small, rural Virginia fundamentalist church when I was a still a young girl. I honestly don't remember anything too memorable about his visit, after all, missionaries dropping in to share their mission goal was common. I don't remember much other than him sharing his burden for South Sudan with his wife by his side. Certainly if there was any reference coupled with homophobia it would never have caught my attention, giving me pause. The Delegate's controversial remarks are a byproduct of that extreme environment and I have no difficult time imagining that an IFB parent would most likely, at the very least, shun their own flesh and blood over being LGBTQ. Sadly, many grown children have experienced the same for less "offences."

And that's another reason that I feel Christian Fundamentalism shouldn't be brushed off as just another varying group of fanatics. It's important to understand the hurtful stances to truly sympathize with the wounds it creates. It's likely that if you're reading this blog you know someone that has experienced this particular hurt. I know I have faces to appear this very moment in my own mind and it honestly breaks my heart. 

It hurts my heart to fathom that old person who said such hateful things, standing by such a sickening ideology, and instead of embracing the different, treating them as if they were the problem, not me. Because let there be no doubt about it, the person responsible for the bigotry is the bigot themselves. One of my biggest regrets is that it took me so long to see that. 

From a spaghetti dinner as a scared and misinformed twelve year old, to an emergency room nurse that helped a loved one, and even conversations with gay Christians, bigotry doesn't always stand a chance when it comes to kindness and an appeal that looks beyond misplaced  hate that is more about fear and ignorance than anything else. Deciding to treat others with respect is sometimes a baby step to becoming a better person and a monumental one even if it is long overdue. Eventually, those steps add up, translating into strides of learning and change by formers. It all starts with the myth breakers, those that believe in a person in spite of their ignorance and hateful stances, envisioning the potential for change. It just takes the ability to see reason and take responsibility. Two things that are difficult for humans in general and Christian Fundamentalists aren't immune to that. And I think that that is where the problem lies—the lack of common humanity. It's by seeing our similarities that it allows us to accept our differences. Acceptance in fundamentalism is a shear act of rebellion, because in order for "right" to remain right, the old—even when it's hurting others—cannot be challenged. Compromise is seen as a sin, a surrendering to the World and its worldly ambitions. And how sad is that? That a personal belief is held in higher importance to another's life?

“I don’t have a problem with religion,” Pete Buttigieg recently said in an interview. “I’m religious, too. I have a problem with religion being used as a justification to harm people and especially in the LGBTQ community.” 

Well said, Pete. Well said. In this, at the very least, the guy gets my vote.



LGBT National Help Center & Hotline: 1-888-434-4564

Photos courtesy: Google Images

Waiver: It's important to note here that by choosing to include politics in this piece, specifically names of current candidates for political office, I in no way support them or their candidacies.