Here Are 5 Ways I Help My Mental Health: Anonymous Survivor

 

By Anonymous

When Lydia asked me if I’d like to write, I was torn.

I have a lot of people in my life who are wonderful, and they don’t fit the into box of abusive or cult-like at all. But I did run into some people who were critical, condescending, and plain mean.

I did try to do everything “right.” I thought if I did everything right, people would see that and be nice. I was wrong. It took me a few years to realize that some people would automatically oppose whatever my family and I offered the church.

For example: activities. If they came to activities my husband had planned and was in charge of, they’d do their part with food or whatever but then they’d hang out in the other room and wouldn’t participate or see how well he was doing things.

Of course some people were great. I am not talking about these people.

Long story short, I went through a terrible depression. I don’t mean I was sad. I mean I couldn’t function. I couldn’t focus enough to wash the dishes or read to my child. I couldn’t decide between cream of mushroom soup or cream of celery. I lost all hope and I wanted to die. I still don’t know what caused it though I think it was a perfect storm of genetics, illness, and stress.

Anyway, after that happened, I had to learn how to live again, how to think again, how to function again. We moved to another state and started over.

If you are trying to put your life back together again, here are some things I’d like to say to you:

1. Take good care of you.

Treat yourself the way you’d treat your best friend if he/she was suffering.

Don’t allow yourself to think or say things to yourself that you’d never say to somebody you love.

Sometimes we bully ourselves. If you have been doing that, write that thought down.

Now rewrite it with a positive ending.

Every time that thought comes at you, redirect it.

Our brains are creatures of habit. Do something/think something about 40 times and it becomes a habit. Think about how you brush your teeth. You DON’T think about that, do you? You can brush your teeth with your eyes closed and your mind a million miles away because it is a habit.

You have a lot of thoughts that are habits. Start thinking about them. Chances are, you need to change some of them.

2. Take good care of you by physically taking care of you. 

If medication helps you to be able to think and function, take that medicine!

Find out what vitamins will help you. Take them.

Exercise is a big mood booster. Just a walk outside always makes me feel SO much better.

3. Take good care of you by finding good people and good resources.

I found an online support group for people going through what I was going through. That was so helpful. I didn’t want to tell my husband or kids what I was thinking because I didn’t want to hurt them.

The support group understood what I was experiencing, and they weren’t still stuck in the bad place I was in. They could say “I’ve been there and sometimes I am still there, but it gets better.” 

I was really hard on myself when I finally got the medication in my system that allowed me to think again. I needed people to tell me it would be okay, that I wasn’t alone, other people had fought this fight and they were okay now and I would be okay, too.

Choose healthy ways to cope with your pain. Those things exist.

4. Figure out what brings you joy and immerse yourself in it.

I made myself a checklist for those days when I woke up “in the pit of despair.”  It looks like this:

How to Have a Better Day

1. Understand it can get better.
2. Know that your brain is lying to you.
3. Get dressed.
4. Eat something healthy; take any medicine, vitamins or supplements that you know help you 
5. Turn on good music.
6. Reach out. Ask for support.
7. Go for a walk or do something else that gets you moving.
8. Make a gratitude list.
9. As you do things write them down and cross them off.
10. If you choose to clean go clockwise around the room and do stuff that let you see visible results.
11. Set a timer. That will help you get stuff done. You can do anything for 15 minutes!
12. Remember that it will be okay. Bad feelings are temporary and just because you think horrid thoughts or have negative impulses. . . you do NOT have to believe those self-destructive thoughts and you don't have to act on those impulses. They are temporary. Don't let them become permanent.
13. Remember: You are loved!

5. Know that it’s a bit of a rollercoaster, especially in the beginning. 

But after a while it evens out and things are much, much better than you ever could have imagined at your worst.

You have not yet met all the people you are going to love; you have not yet listened to all the music that will thrill you. You haven’t tasted all the best things out there yet.... or seen all the sunrises and sunsets that will leave you in awe.

The world is a beautiful place, and it is waiting for you.

Here are some helpful resources:

How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention 

FlyLady

TheLazy Genious Way 

TheLazy Genius Podcast

This story was shared as part of the project called Out of Oceania: Survivors Share Their Stories, an originial series by this blog. To read more stories, click here.

Photo courtesy: Unsplash